What Is Motivating You? Fear? A Lesson in Conquering Fear

by Tanner M. on

Conquering Fear
Flickr: Stuant63

Escaping fear to build lifestyle design and personal development

Whether it be the fear of rejection or the fear of success, we will take a look at how your fears deals with motivation.  According to Princeton University, motivation is:

” (n) motivation, motive, need (the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior) “we did not understand his motivation”; “he acted with the best of motives”

(n) motivation (the condition of being motivated) “his motivation was at a high level”

(n) motivation motivating (the act of motivating; providing incentive)”

Is Fear Motivating You?

Les Brown
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

Motivation is not always a good thing. Fear is crippling. However, we can never be totally fear free as it is a natural and usable emotion that helps keep us safe.   Many of us take so many actions throughout our day because we are motivated by negative things such as fear. By letting fear motivate us, it is essentially crippling our body both physically and mentally. Basically your actions become controlled by fear. We do not try new things because of the fear of the unknown. Your body begins to produce certain chemicals in your body such as adrenaline when fear is motivating you. Golfers that are beating Tiger Woods in a round start tensing up because they focus on their fears of losing their position with a bad shot. Since they are focusing on the fear of the bad shot, which is normally what happens. Your mind becomes blank when giving a speech because you’re worrying so much about screwing up that your mind is focused on screwing up instead of the message you want to get across.

Napoleon Bonaparte
“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.”

We fear that we will fail. We fear that we will lose our job. We fear that we cannot pay our bill. We fear that we will not be accepted. We fear rejection. We fear that we will succeed. Fear is around almost every corner in people’s lives. What we want to do is lessen fear and then ultimately eliminate is being motivated by fear.

Stop and think of your actions throughout the day. Are you going to work at a job you dread going to because you fear that you cannot provide if you do not? Do you procrastinate on following your life dreams because of fear? Do you not take steps toward your goals because you have a wall of fear that is holding you from taking that next step such as calling a certain someone or whatever the situation might be?

Taking Steps to Eliminate Fear

In order to take continuous and directionally correct steps to lifestyle design and personal development, we should strive to be motivated by our goals. You need to take continuous action toward attaining what goals you set to achieve. Instead of always being controlled by fear, such as always just barely getting by on things, take the opposite step.

Start becoming consciously aware when you’re doing something and ask yourself what is motivating you to do this? If fear is what is currently motivating you, stop, and think of other options toward whatever fear you are currently being controlled by. Look at your goals and see what steps you should be taking toward them.

Jerry Gillies
“Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.”

The Power of the word MUST

If fear is stopping you from taking that next step toward your goal, then think of it as something you MUST do. Tell yourself you MUST take this step and why you MUST do it. Do not keep telling yourself you should. Here are some examples of this:

  • I should workout today
  • I should write this paper
  • I should call the publishing company
  • I should set aside some money for retirement

You need to start saying to yourself:

  • I MUST work out today because I’ve committed myself to losing 5 pounds of body fat by January 31st
  • I MUST write this paper now because I have no time for it later and it is due in 2 days
  • I MUST call the publishing company to arrange a meeting on my book proposal because I have committed to writing this book for months and my goal deadline is soon approaching
  • I MUST set 10% of this paycheck aside for retirement because I have committed myself to retire by the age of 50.

    Dale Carnegie
    “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

You can even go as far as adding on the consequences of not following through on your steps toward your goals. Such as:

  • I MUST work out today because I’ve committed myself to losing 5 pounds of body fat by January 31st. If I do not starting sticking to my workout plan then my health is slowly going to start slipping away from me and before I know it my doctor will be telling me I have high blood pressure and my cholesterol is through the roof. I do not want my age to play catch up with my heart.

Like your goals, the more specific you go into detail why you should do something, the greater the likelihood you will do it. Put tons of emotions behind your MUST reasons. Put yourself in the situations if you have to.

Final Thoughts

When I finally sat down and actually thought about what was really motivating me in life, I found so many motivational fears. Although many times I still am driven by fear, I slowly have learned to become consciously aware of when I was being driven by negative emotions and learned through some time to control these emotions. By taking control of these emotions, such as fear, I have also began to take more control of my desired lifestyle design and personal development.

What is motivating you?

Looking for some Healthy Motivation?

Head on over to The Local Cook on Friday’s to start your weekend off right with a health recipe and a pep talk to boost your lifestyle.

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  • http://ivancampuzano.com/ ivan

    good post tanner…keep up the good work..heres a few thoughts…I feel that much of the fears people have come from their social conditioning..society teaches you to be ambitious…to always become something…therefore people are always projecting their thoughts which are always old (since all thought is a response from memory)..to what the future should be like…this creates immense conflict in people…people never see something for what it actually is, free of their conditioning and prejudices…thats why much time is needed to change…but if they learned to see what “is” and “not what should be” what “is” would change instantly… unfortunately this requires an amazingly alert yet passive unattached mind…to be able to observe in your inner space that the thought and thinker are not separate…that whenever the observer separates himself from what is being observed is when conflict arises…this requires one to have an immensely quiet mind….yet most of the population never looks in, never learn what meditation really is..never learn about their ego and the hundreds of contradictions they live with…and look for solutions to their problems outside of themselves and that is a search that will never end…it is a long journey to understand that you need to experience the state of “no mind”(no thoughts, pure awareness) to know truth for yourself, a knowing that no one can ever give to you…everyone try's to solve problems within the field of thought…but life is always new and dynamic…we simply need to be awake and conscious and respond to the moment…but most live mechanical (asleep) lives because they only react to life with old ideas…so the question than becomes how do you become more awake, more present, more conscious…that is a journey that everyone needs to take on their own…you need to watch, observe, and constantly self study, understand your mind the nature of your thoughts, and practice meditation to have a quite mind to create immense inner space to study yourself….kriya yoga can be a rapid way of raising your consciousness up through your spine then to your brain…this is the quickest way to self realization and cosmic consciousness….hope this helped some :)

    • http://lifedestiny.net Tanner @LifeDestiny.net

      Very interesting and thought provoking Ivan. You make some really great points about how we are conditioned to be ambitious, to overachieve, to be the best we can be. Constantly searching for clues and answers about ourselves in the outside world. You are right, it is an endless journey and even myself get caught up in this journey quite so often.

      I need to discipline myself to become more consciously aware and practice meditation. I have gotten away from it but am looking to get back into it. Do you recommend any readings on meditation and/or kriya yoga?

      Thanks a ton for bringing this up and it is a very interesting aspect that I would like to look further into!

  • http://twitter.com/FitJerk FJ

    Dale Carnegie kicks ass. I love his stuff and it's good to see you mentioned him. That quote was probably one of the best I've read just because there is so much damn truth to it. I've experienced it.

    By the way, big ups for the mention… but just letting you know that the link isn't working to Wendy's site. http://www.thelocalcook.com

    • http://lifestyledesignforyou.com Gordie

      I haven't read Dale Carnegie's stuff since I was a teenager. It's time for me to have another look now that I'm into personal development.

      • http://lifedestiny.net Tanner @LifeDestiny.net

        How to win friends and influence people is a must, simple but effective. I am also a big fan of Napoleon Hill

        • http://lifestyledesignforyou.com Gordie

          Yeah, they were the self-improvement gurus of the 30's and 40's.

    • http://lifedestiny.net Tanner @LifeDestiny.net

      My bad FJ. When I linked it up, it just took the name and put it in as the url. I fixed it up.

      Dale Carnegie is the man, you are correct!

      • http://twitter.com/FitJerk FJ

        Yeah even though that book was published in the 30's, it's basics are still valid today. An awesome book that works as a good add-on to that is called “Influence” by Rober B. Cialdini. It's more for marketers but shit is powerful.

        And no worries, link works out. I linked up your latest post on… my latest post, check it: http://www.fitjerk.com


        • http://lifedestiny.net Tanner @LifeDestiny.net

          Excellent! Will add Influence to the long list of books to read. Thanks for recommendation, I love marketing (actually was my original major @ PSU).

          I look forward to checking out your site more often as I am looking to implement some more fitness and health into here.

  • http://lifestyledesignforyou.com Gordie

    Sounds like you have been listening to Tony Robins' Personal Power as well. I remember him saying that fear can work for you when you use it to motivate you to do what you need to do to succeed.

    Great stuff as usual, Tanner. Your blog is on its way, brother!

    • http://lifedestiny.net Tanner @LifeDestiny.net

      I have not listened to Tony in awhile but went through that program and as usual w/Tony I enjoyed it. He talks with so much enthusiasm and passion that it is easy for his passion to rub off on ya.

      I actually am looking into volunteering at one of his events. Not sure how it works yet, but if it leads to a spot in one of his events which cost usually around $1,000 plus then it would definitely be worth it.

  • Pingback: Realize & Maximize Your Potential! - FJ Fridays()

  • http://www.truth2beingfit.com/ Jody – Fit at 52

    Great post! I found you thru FJ. I have a lot of fear of failure outside the fitness realm so I am bookmarking this post & I want to mention it in one of my upcoming posts. I will let you know when I do. I have a few posts already set to go but probably end of next week or the following. It really spoke to me. THX!

    • http://lifedestiny.net Tanner @LifeDestiny.net

      Hey Jody, thanks a lot!

      Please let me know when, that would be awesome of you! I am glad this post is helping someone. LIke I always said, as long as whatever I do helps one other person, then it is worth it.

      I look forward to checking out your site!

  • Steve Anderson

    It felt like acid reflux, or excess bloating caused by gas. Now, I do suffer from GERD, which is caused by my arthritis meds I take for my back, and Zantac normally did the job. But these attacks were becoming stronger and more frequent. Nothing helped.
    I have two herniated discs (if you’ve seen me at seminars in the last 2-3 years, you’ve probably seen me walking with a cane). The NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) kept the inflammation under control.
    But since anti-inflammatories have a history of causing stomach side-effects, at first I thought that maybe it was the meds.


  • http://www.augustagoldira.com/ Augusta Precious

    Money and goods are certainly the best of references.As with the acquisition, so with the use of money; they way in which a man spends it is often one of the surest tests of character.Of what use is wealth to him who neither gives nor enjoys it? Riches are for the comfort of life, and not life for the accumulation of riches. There is no man more deserving of pity than he who spends his whole life amassing money, without making any use of it.Men were created for something better than merely to make money. A close application to business, until a competence is gained, is one of the chief virtues; but to continue in trade long after this result is obtained, is one of the signs, not to be mistaken, of a sordid and ignoble nature. http://www.augustagoldira.com/…

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